Hmm. The past few days weren’t as bad as I thought. Well, at least someone was there to hear me out and cheer me up :)
Come to think of it, that friend was so nice. While no one bothered, this friend was so caring and was a really good listening ear. And honestly I didn’t need any advice. I just wanted a listening ear. And surprisingly my friend understood everything I was saying.
Had cca orientation for the j1s yesterday and it was really bad. Met that friend after that and got a belated birthday present even though it was until only the day before that I told my friend “you forgot about my birthday you fag” hehe :) it was just something simple plus a handwritten card but honestly I’m really touched. So glad to have someone who sees the pain under my smile and keeps asking if I’m okay when we met.
So here’s to that friend of mine. Thank you for being there and listening to me pour my heart out about school and all. With all the upcoming exams and endless tutorials, the stress is really piling up and I really don’t wanna think about anything else. Thanks for bringing joy in my life and making me smile every night when we talk. I really appreciate that because at least at the end of the day, I go to bed feeling much better when I first woke up.
Yes, I admit, sometimes I still do think about it. But then again. I won’t give in this time round. I realised that I’m always the one salvaging the relationship. This time it shouldn’t be me again when I’ve already done it at least twice. I’m tired of always me trying and because of that, I feel like I’m the only one who cherish this relationship. And I guess it is true? Haha.
He’s having the time of his life while I’m just repeating the same routine of going to school everyday. While I’m stressed out by school, I kinda enjoy it as it takes my mind off everything.
And it makes me wonder, how can just someone who’s merely a friend of mine treat me so well, yet, it seems like you don’t even bother about me. Haha maybe it is true that you don’t ever care about me anymore.
So it turns out that all the promises about fighting for me are not true, even though I told you not to say something you can’t keep and you’re like I will fight for you till you come back. So let’s see how true is that haha.
And no. This time, I’m determined. I will NEVER give in. Not anymore. I’m tired of always being the one cherishing and salvaging the relationship.
If it’s meant to be, it will happen.